Fear Not
by broser
Summary: Soubi keeps his ears pierced. Seimei/Soubi and emotional Soubi/Ritsuke.


Fear Not

Author: blackroserising

Rating: M

Summary: A one-shot inspired by the story Fearless by CocoReed at My own version of what could have been a missing scene in that story. You do not have to have read that story to follow this though.

Warnings: Mature themes. Homosexual themes.

Pairings: Seimei/Soubi .

First Published: February 6, 2008.

Disclaimer. I do not own the LOVELESS series. Yun Kouga and Yuji Kawahara are the names I see.

Phase one is complete. Seimei is here, by his side again, and Soubi is complete. He completed his Master's plans as instructed. It was the hardest thing he's ever done for his Master. Each new thing is. He rests on the bed, wrapped around his lover as he murmurs plans in Soubi's ear in a sleepy voice. Soubi is more than content to murmur vague noises to show he is listening, even as he immerses himself more in the _sound_ of Seimei's voice than the actual words.

Until it comes to Ritsuke. At first, heart freezing in dread he wonders if it is another vicious little test like the others so often viciously and cruelly given to him. Like those Ritsuke's mother gives to him. As he listens though, he realises with a sort of helpless dread that another test is not the case. He almost wishes it were. Seimei is going ahead with his plans. Ritsuke will die.

Soubi hurts. He wishes he could speak his pain away, but any words he could use to manipulate this pain would not be enough. Soubi is a manipulator. He is very good at it. He manipulates words in battle to fight others and protect his Sacrifice. He manipulates them with people to get what he wants. He tells lies with the truth. He tells the truth in lies. Seimei ordered him to love Ritsuke. But he made no secret of the fact that he would probably kill Ritsuke when he came back. It was a kindness to Soubi. A warning. Don't get close.

Even so, he created a contradiction with his orders. Something he was usually careful not to do. Soubi is still Soubi after all. And loopholes are loopholes. So Soubi has to find his own balance. With his Sacrifice **gone** and his younger brother **there**, (who is so startlingly similar in appearance, and different in temprament) it was harder than Soubi had expected.

I can do anything, if it is for Ritsuke, he says. It is a lie. He means I can do anything if it is for Seimei.

Love is a complicated emotion. Soubi gives Ritsuke everything he can. Because Seimei told him to. While his words might be lies, Ritsuke isn't stupid. And Soubi never lies with his eyes for Ritsuke. Which means he doesn't lie to Ritsuke. Except that he does. Because he looks at Ritsuke with all the love he feels in his gaze. It should be harder to love a dead boy. But it's not.

Ritsuke always demands answeres. Tell me, tell me, tell me! He demands. But Soubi's silence has already been comanded in this. He will not break his word, his obedience to his Master. So he lies. Ritsuke looks him in the eye, and Soubi has the truth written there. He always does. Seimei never bothers to read his eyes. Many have looked him in the eye. Ritsuke is the only one who sees what is there. It hurts. Soubi tells Ritsuke he loves him. He tells him he will do anything for him. He asks to be commanded. Soubi calls Ritsuke Master. Ritsuke looks Soubi in the eye and calls him a liar. Soubi is a liar. This is true. He has just lied to Ritsuke. This is also true. At least Ritsuke can tell.

Idly, he wonders if this is what Seimei meant when he gave his commands. Ah well. Seiemei is Soubi's Sacrifice. If his Master doeesn't understand who Soubi is, then that's his problem. Soubi loves Seimei, will do anything for him, but he is himself. Soubi's world is built on a foundation of sand. Because the truth that lies can be true, and the lie that the truth doesn't lie are opposites, and one can not build anything solid on two such opposing philosophies that will hold together steadily. It is impossible. Soubi does the impossible all the time.

Soubi's biggest lie, he tells himself, is that he loves Ritsuke. Only one person hears these words, and Soubi doesn't dare look into a mirror when he says this.

It's a game of sorts, Soubi's love for Ritsuke. The only kind of love Soubi really understands. Ritsuke plays the game too.

Soubi has always loved Seimei. That doesn't mean he's ever understood him. Soubi loves Ritsuke because Seimei told him to. Ritsuke is in so many ways exactly like his brother. He still can't tell if Ritsuke loves him back. In the end, Soubi knows, it doesn't matter. Soubi is Seimei's, and will always obey Seimei. Ritsuke is already dead. He just doesn't know it.

Sometimes, for all his brilliant ruthlessness Seimei forgets simple human things. Ritsuke used to remind him, Soubi knows. Ritsuke kept Seimei's heart alive. Until he died. It was a great plan. It would have worked, might yet _still_ work, but Seimei doesn't understand. Soubi will do anything for Seimei. He will abandon him when told, fight for him, lie for him, kill for him, do _anything_ for Seimei. Seimei told him to love and protect Ritsuke. Even when he swept back into Soubi's life, full of the arrogant belief that Soubi will drop everything to return to his side, (which of course, Soubi does) he doesn't understand. He never told Soubi to stop.

So Soubi still loves Ritsuke. How could he not? He will protect Ritsuke as best he can. Even from his own Sacrifice. It is not any kind of love Ritsuke will understand. Soubi is a complicated, shattered Fighter who clings helplessly to his Master, his Sacrifice, far more desperately than any butterfly, no matter how starved, would stay to feast at a beatiful flower that is poisonous. Soubi was broken long before he ever met Ritsuke, and his love is as broken and tainted and painful as he is. Ritsuke should not be so tainted. Soubi loves him anyway and it hurts. Indeed, in spite of Soubi's love, Ritsuke is still untainted. It makes Soubi hate him, which causes him pain. Soubi only loves him more for that.

In bed, he turnes to Seimei, touches him, and gives him pleasure. And if he whispers words in Seimei's ears as he does so, well, Soubi belongs to Seimei and his words are part of who he is. It is always Seimei's choice to listen.

Soubi wonders what Seimei sees, when he looks at the world. He thinks is is a very different one to what Soubi sees. He wonders what Seimei hears, when Soubi tells the world he is a master of manipulating words.

In the end, after two days to themselves, Seimei decides Ritsuke isn't a threat, even if left alive.

Seimei does not care why Soubi had his ears pierced while he was away. Doesn't understand what it means. Soubi loves Seimei. He will do anything for Seimei.

But he keeps his ears pierced.


End file.
